The Worst Fanfiction of all Time Part 2
by Dr. Jimface
Summary: Will the horror never end? Yes, I have once again submitted evil in its purest form: a bad fanfiction! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH A! Have a nice day!
1. Prologue: Return of the Heart

It was a normal day in the Mushroom Kingdom, with Mario and Peach taking a walk outside the castle. Suddenly, a man in a black cloak teleported above the castle.

"Attention, Mushroom Kingdom!" he shouted happily. Since he was so far away, no one even noticed he was there. Annoyed, he created an enlarged image of himself with an amplified voice. "Attention, Mushroom Kingdom!" he shouted again. Mario and Peach, along with everyone else, turned to look with him.

"It can't be…" breathed Mario.

"But it is…" added Peach.

"Now really, what did you expect?" said Lord Smergenflov. "You literally let me walk away. It shouldn't be even a little bit surprising. This, on the other hand," he said smugly, holding an object up for all to see. "Is something to be shocked about,"

"It can't be," said Mario, even more shocked.

"But it is!" finished Smergenflov. What he was holding in his hands was none other than the Chaos Heart, the very artifact used to unleash the Void to destroy all worlds.

"Impossible!" shouted Mario. "We destroyed the Chaos Heart using the Purity Heart!"

"Evidently not," smirked Smergenflov. "In any case, prepare for another shock!" a wave of dark energy emanated from the Chaos Heart, which revealed a cloud of black dust. This dust combined to form a star, which solidified to reveal another well-known artifact: the Dark Star. Fawful had used the Dark Star to take over the Mushroom Kingdom, only being thwarted by the combined efforts of Mario, Luigi, and Bowser.

"BERGALERGALERGALERGALERG!" cackled Smergenflov. "I'd love to stay, but I have several more artifacts to collect. You haven't seen the last of me. You can be absolutely sure of that!" with that, he teleported away.


	2. Chapter 1: Meeting with the Dead

"…_No,_"

"Just get in,"

"_Absolutely not,_"

"It's the only way we can be sure that we won't be detec-"

"_It's made of marshmallows!_"

Smergenflov regarded the disguise that he had made for the Chaos Heart. It was indeed made of marshmallows. "And just what is wrong with that?"

Smergenflov felt a wave of exasperation from the Heart. "_It's undignified! If you were the material manifestation of pure destruction, would YOU want to be dressed in marshmallows?_"

"I'm pretty sure I wouldn't care,"

"_Of course you wouldn't…_"

"Anyway," said Smergenflov. "I have a marshmallow disguise for myself too!" he pulled back a curtain to reveal a marshmallow jumpsuit, complete with mask.

"_Why did you put curtains in here?_"

"Because I'm fancy," the Chaos Heart conjured a hand of dark energy and smacked it at the center of the Heart. Smergenflov could only assume that this was the Chaos Heart's equivalent of a facepalm.

"That's impossible!" shouted Mario for the eighteenth time in a row. "The Chaos Heart can't still exist! We destroyed it!"

"And what about the Dark Star?" added Peach fearfully. "That shouldn't still be here either!"

"We only know two people who are experts on those objects, and they're both dead!" shouted Mario as they walked up to a toy box. "Wait, what's this?"

"Looks like the toy box the Millennium Star threw us into," this had come from Waluigi.

"Why are you here?" asked Peach.

"To escape from Wario," replied Waluigi.

"Well, then why did you want to escape from Wario?" asked Mario.

"He's at a garlic convention," shuddered Waluigi. "I try to stay away from him for a week or two after he goes to one of those,"

"Well, this does look like the toy box that we went into," said Mario as he opened the box. Sure enough, there was the Millennium star, along with a man and a large heart that appeared to be made of marshmallows earning star stamps.

Suddenly, an armadillo-like ball came rolling up to the three of them. It uncurled to reveal Midbus, the pig-like being who had had a brief fling-type thingy with Mario on the way to Rogueport. "Heard tell of Dark Star," said Midbus. "Thought Lord Fawful would be here," Midbus had been searching for Fawful after Smergenflov had been defeated the first time. He did not know that his master was dead.

"No, Midbus," said Peach. "Fawful isn't here,"

"Drat," said Midbus.

"Anyway," said Mario. "We need to talk to some people,"

"Who?" asked Waluigi.

"Fawful, for one," replied Mario.

"Lord Fawful?" exclaimed Midbus. "I will join you!"

Suddenly, Wario appeared just visibly ahead of the horizon. "Waluigi!" he called. "Where are you?"

"Please take me with you!" said Waluigi. "I'm begging you, man,"

"All right, you can come with us!" Mario rolled his eyes. "I'll go get Luigi. Are you coming too, Peach?"

"Actually…." Said Peach. "Toadsworth has kind of forbidden me to go anywhere outside the castle gardens,"

"Why?" asked Mario.

"Well, you know how we were fighting Smergenflov, and he was about to destroy you….?" Peach trailed off, turning red.

"Jeez, you'd think she took off all clothing on her upper half or something!" chuckled Waluigi. "I mean, can you imagine? If Wario was there, he'd probably go nuts and charge at you, no matter if there was a kook in a suit in his way,"

"Heheheh…Right…" chuckled Peach nervously, turning even redder. "In any case, you go on without me!"

When everyone was assembled, Mario used the Return Pipe that he received from Merlon in Flipside to teleport to Flipside Tower, along with everyone else. There, they entered the purple door in front of them. They entered a subterranean and dim area with a dreary air. They had entered the Underwhere. They walked up to Queen Jaydes.

"Hello, Queen!" said Mario.

"Mario!" exclaimed Jaydes. "I didn't expect your game to end so soon. I'll just send you to the Overthere-"

"My game isn't over," interrupted Mario. "We want to talk to a couple of people imprisoned in the darker areas of the Underwhere,"

"If you insist, though I feel I must escort you," with that, Jaydes teleported the group to the darkest corner of the Underwhere, where souls were punished for their evil deeds. "Who did you want to talk to?"

Mario looked around until he saw a green boy pushing a large boulder along a path. The boy was nine years old, with a red cloak and thick glasses. His usually smiling face was set in an expression of determination and rage.

"S-stupid b-boulder of stupidness…" muttered Fawful. "F-Fawful is hating the g-guts of yours…"

"That's one of them," said Mario.

"Fawful!" called Jaydes. "You may stop pushing the boulder. Someone wishes to speak with you,"

"Who would want the speaking with Fawful?" asked Fawful as he turned around. His mouth fell open.

"FINK-RAT!" he shouted as he flew at Mario. Jaydes calmly lifted a hand and Fawful flew into a conjured invisible wall. "Urgh.." he said as he picked himself up off the ground. Jaydes dismissed the wall.

"What do you have the wanting, fink-rat?" Fawful snapped. "Come to be rubbing in the predicament of Fawful, eh?'

Fawful was suddenly swept into a large hug by Midbus. "Lord Fawful!" Midbus exclaimed.

"Hello, Midbus," said Fawful, who technically no longer needed air. Midbus suddenly realized what he was doing and set Fawful down.

Mario cleared his throat. "Fawful, we came to ask you about the Dark Star. It's reappeared,"

Fawful was silent for a moment. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! I HAVE CHORTLES!" after a couple minutes of this he calmed down. "Heheh...being of the serious though, what is it that you have wanting?"

"The Dark Star's back," repeated Mario.

Fawful frowned. "Are you yanking on the chain of Fawful?" Mario shook his head. "Fawful is thinking…" he said. "Fawful is having ideas of none."

"Well, then, can you direct us to Dimentio?" Mario asked. Fawful led them to the boulder he was pushing, and gestured to a wall.

There he was. Chained and hanging by his wrists, his formerly glorious poncho was now tattered and covered in dirt. His chin touched his chest and his hat masked his face.

"Dimentio?" asked Mario. No response. "Dimentio?" he repeated. Nothing. "We need to talk to you about the Chaos Heart." Silence. "It's returned."

Mario thought that Dimentio was twitching, but he saw that the jester was chuckling. "Ah ha ha ha….Ahahahahahahahaha! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_**AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH A!**_" Dimentio laughed and laughed and laughed. He threw back his head to reveal a cracked mask. "My punishment is almost over!" he shouted with glee. "If the Chaos Heart has returned, that means that all worlds will end! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Dimentio, we need your help. You know more about the heart than anyone else," pleaded Mario.

"And just why should I help you?" asked Dimentio. "If the worlds end, then my punishment ends,"

"You mean being chained to a wall?" asked Luigi.

"Ahahaha. No. Something worse." Dimentio said softly. The ground rumbled beneath their feet.

"Ack!" Fawful yelped as he leapt behind his boulder.

"I think you will get to witness it now," commented Dimentio.

Suddenly, underhands shot up from the ground and attacked Dimentio. Mario's eyes widened. Midbus retreated into his shell. Waluigi paled. Luigi fainted outright. Dimentio screamed. He screamed and he screamed and he screamed. He had given up trying to not scream ages ago. When the underhands' task was finally completed, a gaping wound was visible on Dimentio's front. It was appalling to look at. Dimentio panted.

"That is my punishment," he said. "Every twelve hours, the underhands attack me, and in the time between the attacks, my wounds heal to prepare for the next one. Again, I ask: why should I help you?"

"We doubt that Smergenflov wants to destroy the universe," said Mario. "He's not the kind of guy who destroys worlds for fun."

"Who in the Dark Prognosticus' name is Smergenflov?" questioned Dimentio. Mario and Luigi explained everything up to finding Dimentio, save Princess Peach's….actions.

"I see," said Dimentio. "I doubt that this man made a new Chaos Heart. He probably found the first one,"

"But the first one was destroyed, wasn't it?" inquired Luigi.

"I refuse to speak any more," said Dimentio adamantly. "All right, all right!" he said after catching the look from Jaydes. "I have no idea what happened to that Heart, but I would say that the thing's intelligent,"

"Why do you think that?" asked Waluigi.

"Mario said that he saw a heart and a man made of marshmallows playing against the Millennium Star in his explanation," said Dimentio smugly. "I'd say that you just let your culprits walk away,"

Indeed, Smergenflov and the Heart had captured the Millennium Star in a cage of energy and were teleporting back to their lair.

"Fink-rat!" spat Fawful, who had heard that Smergenflov was in possession of the Dark Star, and was listening to everything up until now. "The Star of Darkness is being Fawful's!"

"We need your help, Dimentio," said Mario. "You know more about the Chao Heart than anyone else,"

"How would I help you, _hero_?" Dimentio sneered. "I'm chained to a wall, in case you hadn't noticed,"

It was then that Jaydes spoke up. "You can accompany Mario on his quest,"

"Excuse me?!" exclaimed Dimentio,

"You will join them in their quest," Jaydes repeated.

"I refuse to associate with-"

"As a reward, I will grant you one wish," Jaydes added. The chains binding Dimentio's wrist abruptly unclamped, and Dimentio fell to the ground.

"Fawful wants to go to!" shouted Fawful. "Revenge on Smorky-flu!"

"You will also gain a wish," said Jaydes. But there is a drawback. Both of you will be branded on your front. If you have treasonous thoughts, try to harm one of Mario's group, or Mario says the command word, holy fire will scorch your soul."

"What makes you think the holy fire would hurt us?" smirked Dimentio.

"Both of your souls are tainted with darkness from your association with dark powers," said Jaydes. She snapped her fingers, and white fire burned on the villains' chests. When this was finished, a heart-shaped brand was on Dimentio's chest, and a star-shaped brand on Fawful's. The two were also completely healed and ready to go.

"And so we leave, like a pride of lions on the hunt for their prey!"


	3. Chapter 2: Marshmallows of Doom

"Where do we have heading of next?" asked Fawful as the group exited the Underwhere.

"We should check the Millennium Star's toy box," answered Mario.

Once they made it to the box, they opened it to find Smergenflov and the Chaos Heart, holding an imprisoned Millennium Star.

"Let's get him!" shouted Waluigi, jumping into the box. Mario and Luigi jumped in as well. Fawful fell in, Midbus jumped in, and Dimentio simply teleported.

"You just don't give up, do you?" said Smergenflov as he faced the heroes.

"Please don't hold any of what I do against me," said Dimentio. "I'm being forced to work with these fools," Mario glared at him.

"Chaos Heart," said Smergenflov. "Care to show these protagonists what we can do?"

"_Gladly,_" said the Heart as the marshmallows darkened to become a dark purple. Those marshmallows flew around the Heart, becoming a cyclone of snacks.

"We're going to be fighting _marshmallows?!_" exclaimed Waluigi.

"Apparently," said Mario, charging at the twister.

"Oh, no you don't!" shouted Smergenflov. "I have to tell you my plan!"

"_No, you fool!_" exclaimed the Heart. "_That might give them clues on how to defeat us!_"

"Good point," said Smergenflov thoughtfully. "Can I tell them how you were brought back to life?"

"_That, I have no problem with,_" said the Heart, chaining the heroes against the wall using marshmallows.

"Looks like we're in a _sticky_ situation," chuckled Dimentio.

"Hey!" exclaimed Smergenflov. "The puns are my evil villain shtick!" everyone rolled their eyes.

"Anyway," said Smergenflov. "I think that the Heart was always somewhat alive, if not intelligent. But when you used the Purity Heart to destroy it, the Chaos Heart tried to steal some of the Purity Heart's life force, surviving and taking away some sort of emotions, giving it sentience,"

"….That's it?" asked Mario. "That's the great way that the Chaos Heart was resurrected? That's a terrible plot!"

"Try telling that to Dr. Jimface," said Dimentio sourly.

"Who's Dr. Jimface?" asked Luigi.

"You're better off not knowing,"

"Now that my evil villain monologue is complete, we can attack," said Smergenflov as the chains released the heroes.

Dimentio immediately created two clones, firing blocks of magic at the Heart.

"_You can't do that, Dimentio,_" said the Heart, smugly deflecting the magic. "_We are bonded. If I die, so do you,_"

"Given that I'm already dead, that shouldn't be a problem," said Dimentio, encasing the Heart in a box of dimensional energy.

"_Heh heh heh…_" said the Heart. "_Allow me to show you the abilities I have gained from our bond,_" Suddenly, dark puppet strings descended from above and attached themselves to Dimentio's limbs.

"What's going on?" asked Dimentio as the Heart moved him toward the others.

"_Simple,_" said the Heart. "_I'm controlling you,_"

"Very clever," said Dimentio, impressed. "But I know that everyone will attack me without hesitation, and what hurts me hurts you, given what you said about the bond,"

"_Nonsense,_" said the Heart. "_You're their ally, they would never dream of AAAACCKKKKK!_" shouted the Heart as Luigi smacked the Jester with his hammer.

"_Smergenflov,_" said the Heart. "_They've undermined my way of ensuring that we won. We should get out of here while we still can,_"

"Fair enough," said Smergenflov, who didn't care one whit about what the Chaos Heart was doing. "Well done heroes, you have once again proved yourselves worthy of battling us. Unfortunately, we still have one more artifact to collect, so we really must go," with that, he teleported away with the Heart and the Star.

"….Drating," said Fawful, annoyed. "Was he supposed to have the escaping with the Star of Millennia?"

"No," said Mario. "Unfortunately, there's not much we can do at this point. We could check on the Beanstar,"

"And why would we want to do that?" asked Dimentio.

"Because the Beanstar is an extremely powerful artifact that Smergenflov already tried to steal once before," said Mario. "It's fairly likely that he'd go after it again,"

Thus, they marched for days until they reached the border (No one was willing to fly Fawful and Dimentio there). Once they were there, everyone but Mario and Luigi were not allowed to enter, due to their criminal nature. Fawful's brand blazed with white fire, making it clear that he was unhappy with this development. Mario and Luigi entered Beanbean castle, to once again find that the Beanstar was in no danger.

"Are you _absolutely sure _that the Beanstar's safe this time?" asked Luigi.

"For the 17th time, _yes, I am sure the Beanstar is safe,_" said Lady Lima, exasperated. "We aren't _that _terrible of caretakers,"

"Thank you for your time," said Mario, exiting the building. Once he exited, however, a mailman came over to him and gave him a letter from Princess Peach.

_Mario,_

_ Smergenflov attacked again. This time he went for Shooting Star Summit. He's after the Star Rod, I'm sure of it. We need your help._

Peach

Luigi started to clap slowly at Mario. "Nicely done, Mario," he said sarcastically. "You managed to get us in the wrong kingdom,"

"Shut up, Luigi," said Mario, frustrated.


	4. Chapter 3: Backtracking

Mario and his comrades marched for hours on end, save Dimentio, who floated smugly, and Fawful, who had made another Vacuum Helmet in the free time he had. By the time they reached Shooting Star Summit, everyone, save Dimentio and Fawful, was exhausted. They talked to Eldstar and the rest of the Star Spirits and guarded the area for hours, before an exhausted Waluigi suggested that they should sleep. Everyone else practically fell over.

In the middle of the night, Dimentio opened one eye. He made sure no one else was awake before walking furtively over to Mario. He drew a dagger that he hid in his poncho. His brand grew brighter as he slowly lowered it toward's Mario's sleeping body. Unknown to Dimentio, the Star Spirits had cast a magic spell that gave Mario protection from the colorful assailant. Dimentio lowered the dagger to an inch of the plumber's chest. He thought the most blasphemous thoughts ever thought. His brand blazed. But he felt no pain. Giving up, confused, he walked around for a bit to find Fawful tinkering with some machinery.

"Fawful?" he asked. The Bean turned around.

"Yesing?"

"How has your brand been?'

"Welling…" said Fawful, looking as confused as Dimentio. "Fawful has not had the pain from the flaming fire,"

"Strange…" said Dimentio. "Neither have I. Our brands are as useless as a dried shroom,"

"Do you have the knowing of why this is being so?" asked Fawful.

"I have a theory," replied Dimentio. "I think our brands have severed our connection with the dark powers of the Chaos Heart and Dark Star, respectively. What I don't understand is why yours has been cast off so easily. I have never seen you doing anything treacherous," Dimentio had been almost murdering Mario for several nights with lessening pain. He was surprised to find that his mind had grown much clearer.

"Fawful….never had the complete bonding with the Star of Darkness," admitted Fawful. "Fawful gained the power, but it was not being what Fawful had the expecting of. It was…being scary," the Bean shuddered. "Not what Fawful had the thinking of. Fawful had the trying to be rejecting the Star."

"Now, my connection with darkness goes _far_ farther than that," said Dimentio. "I found a book, at one point. It radiated dark power, but it was blank. Curious, I took it home with me. Some mornings, I would wake up normally. Others, I would awake at a desk, with a pen in my hand, and the book, open with writing in it. It began with just sleep-activity, but soon became a conscious activity." Dimentio shuddered. "It was like a drug. I _wanted_ to write in it. I knew that darkness was infecting my mind, but I didn't care. I read what I had written, and knew it was all going to happen. I just _knew_ it. I made it my life's goal to destroy all worlds and create a perfect new one in their place,"

"But you didn't succeed," Fawful and Dimentio jumped. Behind them was Mario. "And here you are,"

"Um," said Dimentio. "I don't suppose you knew I was lowering a dagger toward you-"

"I knew," said Mario. "Not for the first few nights, but I assumed from the other times from how frustrated you were that it wasn't the first, and you were expecting something to happen,"

"Well," said Dimentio. "A side effect of severed bonds is lack of murder efficiency, it seems," he looked rather embarrassed. Fawful, not wanting to get involved, went back to tinkering with an expression that said "You're on your own,"

"And now I trust you," said Mario.

"Excuse me?" asked Dimentio.

"I trust you," said Mario. "You had the opportunity to murder me in my sleep countless times, but you never used one of them. I thought you would kill me at the first opportunity, but now I see that I shouldn't have feared," he held out his hand. "What do you say that we put this silly thing behind us and stop Smergenflov?"

"I blame Dr. Jimface for this poorly executed development, but I suppose," said Dimentio shaking his hand.

The next day, everyone was on their guard. They waited. And they waited. And they waited. Soon, a mailman came and gave Mario a letter. He read it, confused.

_Mario,_

_ This is kind of embarrassing. You know how we said that the Beanstar was perfectly safe? Well, this morning, Lord Smergenflov stole it. Again. He said that the last part of his plan was complete. So we wanted to let you know. Sorry._

Queen bean

"I think that this Smergenflov fellow tricked us," said Dimentio, amused. Mario was shaking with frustration.


	5. Chapter 4: Soup of Evil

Mario sighed and started to walk back to Princess Peach's castle with the rest of the team in tow. If the last part of Smergenflov's plan was complete, then they would have to stop him at his base. Wherever that was. Mario had a hunch that he had moved it since the battle at the Palace of Shadow.

When they had made it to the castle, they started to discuss strategy with Princess Peach.

"I say we should check the Palace of Shadow to make sure he isn't there," stated Dimentio.

"If he's not there, then we run the risk of being too late to stop him," Mario argued. "He's not stupid. Well, not that stupid, anyway. He knows that's where we'll look," Peach suddenly exited the room.

"Peach, where are you going?" asked Mario, following her.

"I'm going to get some soup," replied Peach, going into the kitchen.

"We have soup at the castle?" asked Mario. "Since when?"

"Well, you know how Smergenflov threw that can of soup at me in the Palace of Shadow?" said Peach, opening the pantry. Mario nodded. "Well, it turns out that he sells soup for a living, and it's really good. See?" she held out a can of soup for Mario to see. On it, there was a picture of a grinning Smergenflov and the words "Smergenflov Brand Soup: Puns in every can!"

"You've been buying soup from Smergenflov?!" exclaimed Mario. Peach nodded.

"_**YOU'VE BEEN BUYING SOUP FROM OUR ENEMY?!**_"

"The man makes good soup," said Peach simply. Mario facepalmed so impressively that everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom involuntarily smacked their hands to their foreheads. This event was to be known in years to come as the Great Facepalm of '73.

"Actually, that's a good thing!" said Luigi, entering the room. "If Peach can call Smergenflov's soup company thing, she can ask where they're located!"

"That's completely right!" shouted Mario. "Peach, call Smergenflov!"

"Let me finish my soup!" protested Peach. Mario sighed, but let her finish her soup. One can of soup later, Peach picked up the phone and dialed a bunch of numbers. After a few rings of the phone, Smergenflov picked up the phone.

"Smergenflov Brand Soup, how may I help you?"

"This is Peach," said Peach.

"Ah, Peach!" exclaimed Smergenflov. "The usual order of soup, I take it?"

"Actually, I wanted to ask you a question,"

"Sure thing," replied Smergenflov.

"Where is your company located?"

"Well, as you know, we used to be located in the Palace of Shadow, before events beyond our control forced us to leave," answered Smergenflov. "Now, however, we like to keep our headquarters a secret to avoid any other disasters like that. But I'll let you in on a little secret,"

"What's that?" asked Peach eagerly.

"We are leaving a special ticket in one can of soup. The customer in possession of this soup can use it to teleport straight to our headquarters, and we can give you a tour!"

"Excellent!" said Peach. "In that case, I'll need 5,000 cans of all your soup,"

"In that case, I'll need 2 billion Mushroom coins," replied Smergenflov cheerily. Peach's eyes widened, but Mario gave her a look that said "Do it!"

"Fine," she said, defeated.

A bit later, 2 billion Mushroom coins were crammed into a giant crate. Peach wrote the word "Smergenflov" on it, and it vanished, replaced by a crate which was filled with cans of soup.

"Do we have to eat all of that?" asked Waluigi.

"No, we just have to pour all of it out and try to find the ticket," explained Mario.

Several hours of soupy goodness later, Midbus had found the ticket. "Was stuck to my foot," he said gruffly.

"Are we ready?" asked Mario as everyone, including Peach (Much to the displeasure of Toadsworth), assembled. Everyone nodded.

"Let's go," said Mario, activating the ticket.

_ZAP!_


	6. Chapter 5: The Marshmallow Comeback Tour

_ZAP. CLANG. "DAMN IT!"_

These were the sounds that followed Mario and company teleporting into the lair of Smergenflov. Zap from the teleportation, clang from the cage that immediately fell on top of them, and "damn it" from Mario, who was thoroughly annoyed with the entire series of events.

"Weren't we here before?" this came from Waluigi, who had no idea what this dimension was, but recognized the area they were currently in as what everyone else called the Underwhere.

"Yes. Yes we were," said Mario through his teeth.

"BERGALERGALERGALERG!" shouted Lord Smergenflov. "And hello to you, Peach. You have fallen into my ingenious trap!"

"How did you know?" asked the Chaos Heart from behind him.

"Hmm?" asked Smergenflov.

"How did you know that they would teleport right there?"

"Because I designed the teleportation paper to teleport them there,"

"I know. I'm asking why it actually worked," Smergenflov ignored this and turned back around.

"Now I cannot help but notice that you won't stop trying to stop me. That would be why I've brought you here. Now in exchange for you leaving me alone," he said, walking to a curtain. "I will give you this!" Under the curtain was a pot of mashed potatoes.

"Why do you have curtains in here?" asked Peach.

"Because he's fancy," replied the Chaos Heart.

"Why would we leave you alone in exchange for _potatoes_?!" exclaimed Mario.

"Maybe you wouldn't, but you definitely would for what's behind curtain number two!" He pulled up the curtain to reveal a tower of soup cans. "A lifetime supply of Smergenflov brand Soup!"

"No," said Mario flatly.

"Then you will certainly agree for what's behind curtain number three!" He pulled up the curtain to reveal a shiny new Mario Kart. "The best, the biggest, the fastest Mario Kart in existence! Just one touch of the pedal shall propel you to speeds exceeding mach 2!"

"No," said Mario again.

"Fine," said Smergenflov, snapping his fingers. The cage above Mario and company vanished. "That's why I've got a fail-safe proposal!" he lifted up a fourth curtain. Under it was a bazooka. "Behold! The Marshmallow-fire-inator-o-matic-4005-tron!" He picked it up. "BERGALERGALERG!" Unfortunately for him, the marshmallows fired from the machine only bounced off of everyone and fell on the floor.

"No matter," said Smergenflov smugly as he dropped the gun. "When is a door not a door?" no one responded. "WHEN IT'S A JAR!" he shouted and snapped his fingers. A huge jar suddenly was around the heroes. "Now, Chaos Heart!" he shouted triumphantly. "Reform and bring about a new era of evil!" the Millennium Star, Beanstar, Star Rod, and Dark Star floated into view.

"I can't,"

Smergenflov froze. "What the what?"

"I can't reform. I need a sufficient receptacle in which to do so,"

"Any chance you know of any receptacles that we can just teleport to?"

The Chaos Heart paused for a moment. "I believe the Shadow Queen's casket would suffice,"

"THEN TO THE PALACE OF SHADOW!" shouted Smergenflov and teleported away, taking the Heart and all the other artifacts with him.

"How the hell do we get out of here?!" shouted Luigi.

"I know!" said Mario unreasonably quickly. "I'll use this!" He pulled out the Return Pipe he received from Merlon. "Hang on everyone!"

_ZAP._

**TO BE CONTINUED IN THE LAST CHAPTER OF THE WORST FANFICTION OF ALL TIME PART 2…..**


	7. Final Chapter: Casket of the Queen

_ ZAP. _

"Oh, hello, Mario!" said Merlon cheerfully as Mario and company teleported into Flipside. "How can I help you?"

"No time for small talk!" said Mario. "Can you teleport us to the throne room in the Palace of Shadow underneath Rogueport in the Mushroom Kingdom?"

"I suppose but-" started Merlon.

"Then do it!" shouted Mario.

"All right!" shouted Merlon.

_ZAP._

Suddenly the heroes were in the throne room as Lord Smergenflov entered the secret room behind the throne.

"After him!" shouted Mario.

Inside the room, Lord Smergenflov had just finished putting the Chaos Heart and the other artifacts into the coffin of the Shadow Queen.

"_Mario and his band of heroes is here. Stop them while I reform!_" commanded the Chaos Heart.

"Do you _ever_ stop meddling in villains' affairs?" inquired Smergenflov, turning around.

"No. Not really," said Mario calmly.

"Fine," said Smergenflov icily. All traces of humor in his voice had vanished. "If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get!"

`He snapped his fingers, and the candles surrounding them suddenly lit up. A small flame from each of them flew towards him, and lit him on fire. His suit was purple fire, his hair was white fire, and his cloak was black fire. He had become a being of living flame.

"Hahaha!" this came from Dimentio, who boldly stepped forward. "Do not worry, friends, a simple dimensional cube will detain him!"

"Unlikely," said Smergenflov, snapping his fingers. A small band of teenage human females suddenly appeared in a cage. They looked bewildered for a moment, then their eyes locked on Dimentio.

"Y-you wouldn't!" said Dimentio, stepping back. "You're bluffing!"

"Am I?" replied Smergenflov, snapping his fingers again. The cage suddenly disappeared. "RELEASE THE FANGIRLS!" he shrieked with glee as the aforementioned fangirls charged Dimentio. Dimentio uttered a very un-masculine squeak and teleported away. He reappeared behind the casket, sneaking away. The fangirls caught on immediately and charged at him again.

Mario, ignoring Dimentio's predicament, charged at Smergenflov with a hammer. Unfortunately, the hammer melted as soon as it met Smergenflov's skin. Smergenflov smirked and knocked him backward with a sweep of his arm. Fawful was not having much more luck. His blaster was doing absolutely nothing to Smergenflov. Midbus, fed up, rolled into a ball and charged at the flaming man. Smergenflov dodged a second too late and the fire surrounding him was instantly extinguished as he was knocked against the wall. He teleported away from Midbus and staggered to his feet.

"Don't you ever give up?" he said, stomping his foot. Two large slabs of stone instantly arose from the ground. They smacked together, trapping Smergenflov. The stone then quickened, melting to form a stone Smergenflov. "It's futile. You're doomed,"

"No we aren't!" shouted Waluigi, punching Smergenflov. His punch did absolutely nothing, and Waluigi actually injured his hand.

"I beg to differ," said Smergenflov, picking up the purple plumber and throwing him into Mario.

"Psst!" a voice whispered in Mario's ear as he picked himself up. "It's me. Dimentio,"

"Dimentio?" asked Mario. "Then what's that?" he pointed to the Dimentio that was outrunning the fangirls.

"A clone," said Dimentio quietly.

"That gives me an idea!" Mario whispered his idea into Dimentio's ear. The Dimentio clone teleported to Lord Smergenflov's area. The fangirls instantly charged at it, glomping the stone villain instead of Dimentio. Smergenflov's stone armor shattered instantly. Annoyed, Smergenflov made the fangirls vanish and promptly melted. The pool of water that used to be Smergenflov suddenly rose into a watery Smergenflov, grinning happily.

"Can you handle this?" asked Smergenflov, inviting attack.

Midbus charged at the watery apparition, but went right through it. Smergenflov's arm solidified into a knife of ice which stabbed at the pig before reliquefying.

"We have had enoughing of the thing that is this!" shrieked Fawful, blasting Smergenflov and freezing him. "Huh," said Fawful. "It wasn't supposed to be on the setting of freeze,"

"Who cares?" shouted Waluigi. "I get to punch him now!" this was followed by Waluigi punching Smergenflov, shattering his ice armor.

"_Smergenflov-_" the Heart began.

"YES!" Smergenflov shouted. "The Heart has reformed into its original being!" he threw the lid of the casket off to find the Heart and everything else, sitting there.

"Wait, what?" asked Smergenflov.

"_I can't reform_," said the Chaos Heart. "_Are you sure that you have the right artifacts?_"

Smergenflov glanced up at the heroes. "LOOK OVER THERE!" he shouted. Naturally, they looked over there. Smergenflov teleported away.

"Hopefully we'll never see that creep again," said Luigi, taking out everything except the Heart, which Fawful welded into the casket.

Everything had gone back to normal. The Beanstar was in the Beanbean Kingdom, the Millennium Star was in the toy box, and the Dark Star was in the hold of Peach's castle. Elsewhere, Smergenflov was unhappy.

"SO CLOSE!" he shouted, blasting his curtains with fire. "I WAS SO CLOSE!"

_You still can finish the plan, _said Professor Smergenflov from within his mind.

"Impossible!" said Smergenflov. "Mario is simply too strong!"

_But don't you know the reason that the Beanstar somehow reverted back to its original form so mysteriously when you kidnapped Peach?_ the Professor was smug.

"No, I don't, actually, replied Lord Smergenflov.

_I swapped the real one with a fake._

"What. Did you. Say?" asked Smergenflov, furiously. His head was twitching to the left as General Smergenflov threatened to surface.

_I knew that Mario would defeat you, so I hid the Beanstar in a secret room behind the secret room behind the throne room of the Palace of Shadow._ said Professor Smergenflov happily.

Smergenflov was less happy. When he started to leave himself out of the loop, he got mad.

_Do you know what that means? _asked the Professor.

"What?" replied Smergenflov.

_ You can make a wish._

Smergenflov's eyes widened behind his lenses. Ten seconds later, he was in the casket's room. With a gust of wind, he blew away a fake wall. Inside was the Beanstar, now in the form of a floating green eye.

"Beanstar!" Smergenflov shouted with gusto. "I wish for you to reform! Bring about a new era of evil for all worlds!"

Nothing happened for a moment, then Smergenflov and the star were both blasted through the roof of the palace and propelled into the skies above Rogueport, where Smergenflov calmly flew. The Chaos Heart, the Beanstar, the Millennium Star, the Dark Star, and the Shadow Queen's coffin floated alongside him. The first four items flew into the last one, and the coffin changed. It quickened. It shrunk. It writhed. Soon it was in the form of a container. From the container issued a stream of smoke that quickly solidified into one being. Its hideous laughter was heard throughout Rogueport.

"_**I AM FREE!**_" the being boomed.

"I am whole."

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


End file.
